I am new to this forum and was wondering if anyone could give me a little insight here. My boyfriend or probably I should say ex and I had a year long relationship, we are both 38.
My boyfriend has adhd, I loved him for all his sparkle and he could be incredibly affectionate, creative, fun, jolly. He is very intelligent and studying for final exams in his professions which are due to be taken in October of this year. obviously this is a stressful time for him.
With his adhd he did have some problems such as hyperfocusing, being up and then down, he was a workaholic and had great problems with organising and making decisions but he had so many pluses that it outweighed the negative. In terms of personality we were opposites, where he was very extroverted I am quieter, well organised and very calm and it seemed to go really well. In fact we never really had any major arguments in the year we went out and as far as I knew we were happy together. After he qualified he was going to find a job in the city where we are both based and talked about how happy he was there.
Totally out of the blue a month a couple of weeks ago he announced he was looking for jobs in his home town and wanted to end the relationship. One minute he was being very loving, caring and affectionate and then he took a complete about turn.There was no other woman involved, he still says I am a lovely girl. My friends cant really believe it as anyone who saw us and watched the way he was with me and how we were would find it really hard to understand.
He says he felt too comfortable, he still thinks I am wonderful if he say's but wants to move 500 miles back to his old home town, where his friends are and near his parents. I actually thought I could maybe go too, but he seems a liitle resistant on this. He says he hasn't taking a lot of time to think about the decision he has made but doesn't think he will change his mind.
At the moment I m still helping him with his studying schedule and doing bits of revision with him so we are still keeping in touch. although on my part it is quite difficult doing this but I know he wants and needs the help to keep him on track.
I was just wondering if anyone could help me shed some light on this, why someone could make such a quick hastie decision to end a relationship which even he said was good, and is there anyway that I can get my ex to think about the decision again without putting any more added pressure on him at the moment?